Hate me!
Did you ever went through a phase where you can't understand your self or feel sorry for your self?
well in my case if you are not intrested in reading this whole post is about (i hate me) yes i do hate my self , im going through this lag phase in my life _this is a term used in science for organisms when death= new borns_ but i use it when no growth and changes occure (kefi!).
Yes here you go il na7asa , i can't feel anything not even time when it passes by me i can spend hours without feeling they were hours not few minutes, i can be doing something and when they ask me about the time i would say it 2 hours back when its actually passed 2 hours and going to the thrid i can simply forget dates and be late on them .
Going to school im in no rush or care, i miss my class while im sitting in the car lisnting to my favorite song or reading yesterdays lecture 3aady! and yet i dont feel anything about it.
People talk to me and tell me to do this and that and 10 min. later as if they didnt say a word i dont remember a thing of our conversasion and i dont keep notes but i remember when im heading the place they asked me for things from. Im not losing any wieght not gaining any, i dont care about my look and i dont take care about my health which i used to do, i feel im not acheiving anything for the past 2 weeks and i didnt do anything about it yet.
I wake up in the morning in peace turn my car on sport and turn the engine to an airplane on kuwait roads with the radio bass high and yet i dont care (i hate me ), my teacher calls me to talk to me because she is worried im being careless and moody i simply reply back with what i think of without and fear or remembering she is my teacher.
Im doing things NOT MY WAY, even my hand writing is not mine i dont know it, im being curled back (hunched) and i dont feel like saying a word to anyone my mouth i shutt and my voice is hidden only for urgent situations, even my voice is changing its getting thicker and lower volumed.
I never have had the same hair color for so long and i dont care about changing it, i go to school without even saying hi to my friends,girls wave from meters away and i simply wave back and go to class without even waiting for them.Im not calling or checking on any of my friends they are doing it even the ones that i know they need me (how bad).
Im always zoned and my arabic and english sucks and even my mother toung kuwaiti whatever doesnt make any sence no more .. i can't say one sentince without badleyator grammer mestakes and always two or more languages are mixed together, even my french and spanish are gone with the wind no use at all.
Im not saticfied with my sleep although im sleeping more hours than what i used to have and yet i sleep without moving an inch of my body i wake up in the same possition on the same side even the cover didnt changed.
I even can't watch TV its making no sence to me at all its just a little screen with pictures, and at the movie theatr im the only one laughing on that movie (madgashkar!)which i dont remember what i laughed on.
and here i am now complaining about my self while i have to go study for tomorrows exam and change what i hate about my self , i dont know who am i right now , i just met this person im talking about (me) like 2 weeks ago and i hate her alot
shelsalfa yuba!! madry.
Todays song (madry)
Thank you Vewy Mush
AL_Nooni...AL-Maynooni.
well in my case if you are not intrested in reading this whole post is about (i hate me) yes i do hate my self , im going through this lag phase in my life _this is a term used in science for organisms when death= new borns_ but i use it when no growth and changes occure (kefi!).
Yes here you go il na7asa , i can't feel anything not even time when it passes by me i can spend hours without feeling they were hours not few minutes, i can be doing something and when they ask me about the time i would say it 2 hours back when its actually passed 2 hours and going to the thrid i can simply forget dates and be late on them .
Going to school im in no rush or care, i miss my class while im sitting in the car lisnting to my favorite song or reading yesterdays lecture 3aady! and yet i dont feel anything about it.
People talk to me and tell me to do this and that and 10 min. later as if they didnt say a word i dont remember a thing of our conversasion and i dont keep notes but i remember when im heading the place they asked me for things from. Im not losing any wieght not gaining any, i dont care about my look and i dont take care about my health which i used to do, i feel im not acheiving anything for the past 2 weeks and i didnt do anything about it yet.
I wake up in the morning in peace turn my car on sport and turn the engine to an airplane on kuwait roads with the radio bass high and yet i dont care (i hate me ), my teacher calls me to talk to me because she is worried im being careless and moody i simply reply back with what i think of without and fear or remembering she is my teacher.
Im doing things NOT MY WAY, even my hand writing is not mine i dont know it, im being curled back (hunched) and i dont feel like saying a word to anyone my mouth i shutt and my voice is hidden only for urgent situations, even my voice is changing its getting thicker and lower volumed.
I never have had the same hair color for so long and i dont care about changing it, i go to school without even saying hi to my friends,girls wave from meters away and i simply wave back and go to class without even waiting for them.Im not calling or checking on any of my friends they are doing it even the ones that i know they need me (how bad).
Im always zoned and my arabic and english sucks and even my mother toung kuwaiti whatever doesnt make any sence no more .. i can't say one sentince without badleyator grammer mestakes and always two or more languages are mixed together, even my french and spanish are gone with the wind no use at all.
Im not saticfied with my sleep although im sleeping more hours than what i used to have and yet i sleep without moving an inch of my body i wake up in the same possition on the same side even the cover didnt changed.
I even can't watch TV its making no sence to me at all its just a little screen with pictures, and at the movie theatr im the only one laughing on that movie (madgashkar!)which i dont remember what i laughed on.
and here i am now complaining about my self while i have to go study for tomorrows exam and change what i hate about my self , i dont know who am i right now , i just met this person im talking about (me) like 2 weeks ago and i hate her alot
shelsalfa yuba!! madry.
Todays song (madry)
Thank you Vewy Mush
AL_Nooni...AL-Maynooni.
posted by Nooni at 6:52 PM
17 Comments:
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uhhhhh.. 7abeebtii either u're in love or u're suffering from a major depression.. hang in there.. and if all else fails tell me and i'll commit suicide with u :P~~ no seriously it's just a phase!
Lag phase ha ;)
It makes sense to me, you have exam and during exams we act this way. I concluded that you have a summer semester and I expect the finals are few days ahead so you behavior is again makes sense; too much pressure to handle maybe and instead of facing it you choose to escape fromr reality. anyhow, how many courses you are registered in? Insha'a Allah not a lot.
6amneeena 3ala your performance in the exam, best of luck:)
poor nooni. I was going through a similar phase myself. You'll get through it, it's temporary. Hormonal changes might have a lot to do with it. Not every female is the same, so you might experience them a lot more than others. I'm glad you're talking about it because it helps a lot. Keep your head up, and you should love yourself because you're fabulous. xoxo
it's just a phase ... don't be upset, we all have our ups and downs ... just let it flow
In my point of view, I think it's a mixture of depression and stress! Due to the heavy load of exams and crampped summer school class schedules, stress will sink in and depression will be apparent!
Like Charisma and Tantalize said, it's just a phase and you will learn from it! You are a strong young lady and you can get through this!
ma garet el post esh6ola mashaAlla :P
just want to tell u nice new color :)
TF: :*
charisma: in love ...! hmmm no !..well im always in love with no one to love lol so not in love .. or depression!! from what!! hmm no either i guess... so lets go commit a suicide and enjoy tanning under the sun and splashing salty water on our skin :)
Tantalize: 3ad you know what this is the first time in my whole life i feel wierd and i dont eat chocolate i even feel blue when i eat it :) hmmm maybe this is something i should think about ..! :)
'3asan: LOL lag phase im sure u r common with lol.. walla no pressure or stress ya3ny ana ily gebtooh lenafsy. im not talking many courses its only one LOL and i have a JOB yeeah :)
agool :) the exam was extremly easy ya3ny kharabee6 oo yetha7ik :)
Janjoon: (big hug) i hope so.. thank you my sugar sweet janjoon (tons of kisses gurl)
ray: hey you :) long time no see .. inshalla i hope walla i hope :) thank you dear.
The Stallion: dont you think its dala3 banat?
Ra-1: allaaah bil kheer nawartay il blog ..thank you im glad you liked it although im still working on it :)
m; WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY YA RABY ANA AL7EEEN ON MOON
thanks thanks thanks :* :* :* tons of hugs.
inshalla its only a phase ya rab ameen because i hate it lazem yekoon phase. thank you dear.
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*@@* nooni: I don't think it's "sala3 banat" but since you brought it up do you think that is the reason?
the stallion : now im feeeling on the moon and very very happy and relaxed ..so i believe it was dala3 banat for a very long time LOL
*@@* nooni: I'm glad you felt that way after my comment and that you didn't mock me for my typo! (sala3 should have been dala3!) OOPS! ;P
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oooww I hope you got over it, never hate yourself, you only got one of it and there's no way tougher to make it worse! it's days like those where you get to realize that there have been better days just as well as there will be, the bad feeling is there just so that we recognize the good feeling, it'll be over inshalla and you'll see a brighter day :)
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stall: yeah i know :) :) 3ady 3ady
heavy red:)thank you im very good now
spon: thank you dear im very good now
i needed to know exactly what i want in life i guess...so now i know :)
thanks all :*
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